1. |
6 YEARS OUTro
03:19
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6 years, 6 years, 6 years , 6 years
6 years, 6 years, 6 years , 6 years
6 years, 6 years, 6 years , 6 years
6 years, 6 years, 6 years , 6 years
I cant believe he gave me 6 years, I cant believe he gave me 6 years
I cant believe he gave me 6 years, I cant believe he gave me 6 years
I cant believe he gave me 6 years, I cant believe he gave me 6 years
I cant believe he gave me 6
My journey starts in this holding cell, underneath the court
Saying goodbye to the whole world, I got told I’d only get 4
But I got 6, how the fuck have I let my life come down to this
I'm not looking around cos I wont be around for abit
I got my head down but it’s spinning around so quick
Facing the consequences of the shit that I did
no one forced it upon me, I did it all on my own
Now that’s kinda ironic cos I’ve never felt more alone
Depart my body from my soul; let my soul make its own way home
Cos where this bodies about to go end the line end of the road ‘end of the road’ x 3
And I'm so scared yeah I admit it I’m so scared
That as soon as I get there, I won’t care
I’ve been there before but never this long
I can’t ever see me getting parole they’ll never see back on the road
3 to 5 before I apply all based upon how I act inside
But it can’t be helped to be bad inside
When you’re locked down with the baddest guys
Wit suttin to prove and nothing to lose
So to the follow the rules, wont keep them amused
The months I’ve spent on remand has all be wasted wasted wasted
I beat up a guard to stab up a rapist, didn’t think it would impact my cases
I couldn’t believe it when the judge raised it, said that I’m crazy said that I'm dangerous
Said I’m menace and not gonna change quick….. and no I don’t blame him
All the shit that I did on remand it done me no favours
said that he’d give me a chance but he knows that I’d waste it
said a good few years behind bars might help me change shit
and well if I can’t … fuck it I'm staying in
I wrote letters to everyone and told them not to write back
It wouldn’t benefit anyone to hear my mind collapse
My actions got me put here and that is that
But a part of my heart thought I’d hear from my mum and my dad
The hardest letter I wrote was to my girl,
I told her I gotta do this time all by myself
3 months went by and now she loves someone else,
she picked up the phone and told me herself,
I sit in this cell wondering about what the future holds
Will I be nothing or will I make something in studios
Wear my own clothes, choose where I go, I don’t know
What will I become, or will I be coming home, at all?
When this is done will I be young or going bald
Will I have kids, flesh and my blood, see them go to school
I suppose its on me, I’ve gotta do what I’m over due
I don’t blame anyone its on me its my own fault
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2. |
ME, MYSELF & JokeZ Pt.1
04:12
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I'm here and I cant escape I got caught went court now I count my days
Feel this corpse filling up with rage, dead inside to the pain that drips down my face
It wont go away away…watch me float away, hopefully there is no hope for me, I don’t have nobody somebody show me the way….
Don’t close all the these doors on me show me what love is I swear I can do it I promise I’ll try it I beg you don’t this, I already done it I'm just a confused a kid I don’t find this funny
I do find this funny you puppets on bungees your systems corrupted and you think you fucked me, but I just got lucky I'm here with the scum of the country,
And I’m coming hunting.
I'm not gonna do nothing I'm not even hungry I don’t want a tele I don’t want your lunches I don’t want a phone call I don’t want your mattress your clothes or your blankets no burn or no matches no visit no showers no minutes no hours
My chemical balance is knackered; I'm travelling backwards,
I’m back to cause trouble, I'm back to make damage, and find all them bullies that pick on them cowards i’ll break all your tele’s to stab them in the showers, I’m not using no manors your rules get abandoned this jungle is mine I don’t care for your cameras, your cuffs or your batons your block or your sanctions your locks or your tactics mean nothingggggg
Please make this stop cos I’ve tried and it doesn’t, the voice in my mind that my head has discovered, this joker this character this complete nutter, I'm fucked cos we look like each other, we breath and we eat and we sleep like each other
We needed each other to speak to each other. Like brothers that beat up each other to make us get tougher and believe in each other buts I am the one its always me that suffers.
Don’t make this stop, I beg you don’t do this, don’t give us pills it will make us both stupid, everything we have, this bond we will lose it and never get back this life that we’ve ruined, I’m gonna get mad fam I’ll stab all these doctors just let me the fuck out this lab with these monsters, we don’t need your tablets we don’t need a conscience so fuck off we don’t want your options
Well Mr. Herbert, jokez & Daniel, its quite clear that your chemical balance is unnatural
You’re like an animal creating more harm then a cannon ball
Trapped within walls of infinity that won’t allow your mind to travel
Slowly losing a hold of reality and the characteristics that make us humans and not just mammals
Fighting an unwinnable battle with yourself a vessel lost with no paddles
A door with no handles a gun with no barrel, do you get where I'm going with this son…. Right now there’s no life about you, you might as well be dead with your best friend Darrell…
So they hit me wit largactil and said I’d change
They we’re dam straight fuck I couldn’t feel my face
Couldn’t eat for days felt sick as it filled my veins
Couldn’t piss straight couldn’t stop feeling strange
Couldn’t sleep to kill my days, felt weak as I felt weeks drift away
Stuck In these liquid chains until these fucks consider me sane
Sane? I cant even say my name without dribbling and making mistakes
I keep vomiting but gaining in weight, when I'm walking I'm wobbling I'm out my face
Locked down where they locked the krays I got a shock in this crazy place
I know I’m not the same I know I’ve got to change I need to stop this phase
I'm robber not a killer just dealer I’m shotter I’m leader with a collar on
And now I need to break free
I know I'm not the same me, and now they say the same too
Got me medicated out my mind now they wanna set me free as a sane dude
Met up with the parole board, they sent me straight to my shrink
Met up with the doctor took his prescription and put that script straight in the bin
But don’t say anything cos they might say I'm crazy, get me sectioned again
Understand the message cos the message is clear, I had to save myself or I wouldn’t be here
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3. |
BABY STEPS
03:59
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BABY STEPS….
Back at the desk with my back pack on my back
Lyric pad in my black bag wit a plan
Not to give a dam for the cash
But the life that I never had get it back
Try to be a better man, if I can
If I cant then I'm fucked I’ll be back
In the back of the van wit my arm at the back
And my legs in the straps that’s a fact
If I crack any pacts on the contract in my hand
They will say I'm mad…..
They will say I’m ill if I don’t take 2 pills wit every meal
That will make me feel like a in a film,
Where I rise with the dead then I get killed
No cure, bullet to the head just to get healed.
They will say I’ve lost it if I don’t talk with the doctor
2 time in a week locked up
Back in a cell real quick cos I'm sick
That should mean an ambulance not the back of a cop car
for real….
I’m running thru the 6 with myself, and jokez
A relapse wit my mental health is close
Like an overdose but with an under dose
Where you survive and they pump drugs out your throat
And you choke to life instead of choke to death
But you still hold your breath cos its not over yet
low self esteem with no self respect
out in the world to face what the world projects
by yourself on your own taking baby steps
across the board in this game of chess
Im just a pawn with no king to check
So I jump on a horse take a step and left
Or right
Get it, so I left alright,
I remember the last time I was read my rights
I was at the desk looked the fed dead in his eyes
And said you should have shot me dead on site
Ya get me right
I'm confused that I'm leaving not sure I believe it
Said goodbye to my freedom, so its hard to foresee it
When the screws at the desk wished me the best
But said they’ve made bets on how quick I breach it……..
I’m confused that I’m breathing not sure if I’m dreaming
Did I rise up from sleeping? Or am I still deep in
Cos I can’t feel my legs, my whole body feels numb
And my mind cannot stop what its conjuring up
Sitting in a bus stop waiting for the next bus
Black bag and my ruck sack with a vest on
A beautiful lady walked right up to me and
She’s like hey there handsome when is the next one
I try think of some compliments
but I realize I’ve lost all my confidence
I stared at her she stared back
And here is all I responded with
The problem is I'm sedated
I don’t really know what to say and I hate it
But babe its not you I swear down I promise
I'm just being honest and she walked away quick
An fuck no nah I don’t blame the chick
I woulda probably done the same as this
In her shoes it must have seemed a little dangerous
I stayed true but she didn’t view the change with in.
When I wake up will my day be done?
Never straightforward it’s a wavy one
I’ve got options now its time to weigh them up
I had time now its time just to make it up
Ive been down so low I’ve got stay above
Me, myself & jokez, put my faith in us
I’ve tried so hard, I’ve never gave it up
I Gotta drop them bars then raise it up
I gotta stay in charge and I don’t mean in cuffs
Gotta break these chains that are holding us
Gonna make a change, I'm gonna write for days
I’ll put the pen to the page and give my life away
I'm gonna tell em of the person that they Tried to break
And let the sun shine bright over my parade
And come back with a bang like a live grenade
When they told me that I'm unfit to work
I looked at my life, couple times, and I feared the worst
I looked up like I didn’t even hear the words
And said fuck what you think I'm gonna make it work
I'm gonna serve my purpose, gonna make it worth it
Cos I'm so determined that I’ll reach the surface
And I’ll breath and I’ll be the person
That I'm supposed to be before I leave this earth
In a burning furnace and I'm nervous
Cos it might not be so certain, but I've learned
from mistakes now I see the journey
And I'm thirsty but everything I see is blurry
These pills got me weak and I aint feeling sturdy
But I'm on my feet ready for frozen turkey
By myself in a room until these pills desert me
So I can get back the little boy that they killed at 13
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4. |
MR INVISIBLE
04:09
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They look at me like I’m invisible,
And don’t want them to see him, I want them to see me…
They look at me like I’m invisible,
I don’t want to be him, I just want to be me…
The door just closed, I'm back on the street back on the road
No longer a number, no longer a code no longer security to call my home
My ticket to bricky the life that I know got ripped into pieces right back at the door me & myself & jokez & my clothes a ticket for Scotland a place I don’t know
The land of the free but I felt so alone everyday is a challenge to manage cold
I don’t even know how to manage a phone except to check my balance is gone
Didn’t have friends, just the voice in my head, I didn’t have funds, put the beans on the bread I didn’t have nothing to toast it instead so I’d eat it and picture a roast in my head.
Days go by without the pills I’m getting withdrawals it’s making me ill the shakes, the sweats the freezing cold chills are making it difficult to see what is real I pray for a miracle, with minutes I kill Mr. invisible in this cynical world
Getting closer to physically killing myself, I know I need that medicinal help.
The symptom’s are mad as I'm travelling back the relapse I’m having is making me blank a doctors appointment that I never had I just stand at the desk and I cry like I’m mad I cry like a man…
Cos I know from the moment I’ve shaken his hand…
They look at me like I’m invisible,
And I don’t want them to see him, I want them to see me…
They look at me like I’m invisible,
I don’t want to be him, I just want to be me…
I went to the dole and I swallowed my pride, I’ve been looking for work but they say that I’ve lied couldn’t think of a place I hadn’t applied I could swear on my life I swear that I tried to work in a shop or to work on the side but the CV only consisted of crime so when they look at me they see me inside Mr. invisible, a criminal mind.
The search for employment has all been pointless they look in my book they look disappointed they sanction my money and made an appointment tell me to come back next week and he pointed right to door with escape right above it, maybe that’s fate or maybe its nothing or maybe relates to whatever’s coming. Or going depends on the way that’s its running
no food , no credit , no gas or electric a freezing cold house just cos I'm dyslexic
my writings pathetic unless its poetic so all of the forms I fill get rejected
no money to pay for this flat that I’ve rented, I couldn’t look back as they reposed it, don’t know where my journey is destined, Mr. invisible stuck at a dead end,
Hungry and homeless I lost all my focus walked with my bag on my shoulders
Hit me for 6 now its over, I sit and I speak to Daniel and joker and weigh up the options back to crime, back to psychosis, suicide another door that’s been opened
Cos if I went back to prison or died at this moment I don’t think anyone would notice
They look at me like I’m invisible,
And don’t want them to see him, I want them to see me…
They look at me like I’m invisible,
I don’t want to be him, I just want to be me…
I’d found a car smashed the window I reached inside to steal the rope,
Now I’ve found quiet spot I'm alone tied it up to a tree then round my throat
I said good bye to the world I know I said good by the world I don’t
I jumped from the branch and it broke, I was born again jokez
They look at me like I’m invisible,
And don’t want them to see him, I want them to see me…
They look at me like I’m invisible,
I don’t want to be him, I just want to be me…
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5. |
A KID NAMED DANNY
04:34
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This is the story of a kid named Danny
A cute little boy with a life he had planning
A happy little dude that was bang into rapping
Now your gonna walk in his shoes to what happened
13 years old he snuck out the house and went to the high street
Trying to by weed
But he bumped into a chick that said fuck weed come have a drink,
I’ve got I.D
She was 18 and should have known better
year 2000 middle of December
The 15th a night that would haunt her forever they went to shop,
she bought him some Stella
They drunk it together then met tony with Lorraine and Gemma
the last people little Dan will ever truly remember,
they’ll never really understand what they messed up
This kid had options but after tonight that’s gonna be problem
This kid could have been anything he wanted to be but they all stopped him
Coulda been football star with 5 nice cars or a champion at boxing
Coulda been the best mc on the planet with a track list you’d play often
could have been a doctor or could have got movie roles and got nominated for Oscars
Anyway I'll stop with the what could haves and get back to the monsters
Lorraine and Gemma had just got married
they seemed real nice and looked really happy
they were having a party, and needed a victim
but I wish they didn’t invite Danny
but they did and he went cos he didn’t have a clue it was going to end so badly
if he did he woulda run like an athlete all the way home right back to his family
but he didn’t, and now its all bad dreams
they got to the house and poured him a drink he was already drunk and they poured him another
they gave him some pills that made him feel drowsy & sick they had it all planned so he couldn’t do a runner
they looked at each other and walked to a cupboard put a knife in each hand
and talked to each other
And said that in order to prove their love for each other...they had to sacrifice another
And with no regards for his mother his baby sister or his little brother
Little dan was the another that was going to suffer ...
stab stab slice 1 to the neck 1 to the chest 1 to the back
stab stab stab again in the back now his left lung has fully collapsed
stab stab slice nearly half way there too much blood so they took him outside
kicked him down the stairs
Dragged him across to a bench continued to stab until they thought he was dead
And just to make sure he couldn't go anywhere, they stabbed his hand to the bench
After a kick to the head
Then they left..... Then they came back little dan was still breathing so they gave another few stabs to help the right lung collapse
As his intestines filled his little hands and the blood soaked the land around little dan
Breaths getting shorter, heart rate getting slower not much blood to go now for the little guy
He’s bleeding out for sure..
He knows he’s gonna die on this floor, but he keeps his eyes open for as long as he can
Painting pictures in the stars with an imaginary hand
Swallowed his pride and it dripped out his throat, getting ready to die as his little body slowly froze
Curled up as tight as he could in his blood soaked holy clothes
Said goodbye to the world that he knows and said good by the the world he don't
Now the frost that froze his wounds, allowed blood to flow slower
Heart rate has reduced just enough to tick over
Go on son you can do it go onnnnnnnn
Fucking go on wake uppppppppppp
Pleaseeeeeeeee wake the fuckkkkk up
and boom with a final shot of adrenaline he turned his back on heaven
He opened his eyes and there was a dog in sight
He reached up to the knife and pulled it out of his tiny hand and put it to his side
He scrapped it on the ground which made the dog get hype
and start barking which made the guy he walked with start asking
What you barking at ya silly bastard.
But the dog came running and the angry owner followed him over
with fear kicking in with each step cos he can smell the blood as he gets closer
He finally finds little dan curled up with his eyes open
and the story has it that the little man smiled and worded to the big man
Don't be scared just get help quick fam.....
And with that he slipped back into a world where nobody will truly know
Cos we never got that kid back this lad was born again jokez
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6. |
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I'm back in the war zone me myself & jokez
The battle of the mind combined and I write more notes
And they rhyme and I'm just like wow
Cos I kinda like what I wrote
So I just lose my grip and let the pen slip
til the ink emptied reload the ink quick
Explode a flow, that made me know
That I could achieve my goals as I go ballistic
I'm the target they missed in the distance
I’m either hard to hit or I'm gifted
Never raise my arms and quit cos I'm different
Now I've got the heart to live I'm not injured
Watch me go marching in my own missions
No reinforcements just my own wisdom
Just my own mind my only resistance
My fight for life, I've improvised, a millions times
And I've survived, I'm fearless
I'm back in the snipers eye I'm doing zig zags
Across the page that I invade to make an impact
With a sedated brain, then slur the words I dispatch
a mismatch, relapse, now watch me spin back
my head full of combat that i’ll always remember
Theres no one more on it I could never surrender
the altercation with myself and nobody else
Behind enemy lines is where I would end up
The bomb just dropped and I see the smoke clear
Everything stopped its like I've paused the moment
The drone hit wiped out my opponents
broke them I show them no condolence
I stand for a minute like my feet are frozen
flash bang Boom then I see an explosion
Grab my pen and reload it, close my eyes and I open
This is my life, there are many alike
You might here it all the time but this one is mine
I’m My own best friend. time to master my mind
Still got a couple hundred pieces of this puzzle to find
Cos with out my mind I'm just useless
and my mind with out me just useless
I speak the truth and then they call it music
so I shoot in straight to the point I'm proving
with an illusion of war while im sitting secluded
then my mind stopped time just to slow the motion
Rewinds 3 times and multiplies the whole room
I see me squared, I been there, i swear down
i’m not prepared, cos these pills are potent
the execution of a human just for modern amusement
i’m confused with their solution cos there is no improvement
Don't know what they're doing cos I'm never included
Now theses pills got me acting all stupid
So I run in to the battlefield I'm waving a white flag
In my right hand and my left tied to my strap
my rhyme pad filled with the life that I've had
the battle in my mind do I quit it or fight back
Then bang bang boom bullets fly by my cap
I dive to ground and hide behind the sand bags
I drop the white flag
I let my right hand meet the strap in my left hand
And bang back
like I'm a mad man on Baghdad mission
But this isn't Iraq its just a mad mans visions
i see my body collapse & then the blood start pissing
Got my union jacked my dog tags went missing
Body bag in a box with not a dam thing written
i’m the man they forgot with just a pad full of lyrics
so now you see what I see, you can see where I've been
cos this is just a flash back I have every 5 dam minutes
Cos I'm back in my pad on my bed
Attacking a pad with a pen
then counter attacking again
To abandon the battle within
This massacre trapped in my head
Cos I fell like a passenger travelling dead,
This body just a vessel I’m travelling in
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7. |
ME, MYSELF & JOKEZ Pt. 2
03:34
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a conversation with myself is all i hear in both ears
I'm toying with mental health and i aint shedding no tears x2
i could fucking kill myself dead, holding no fears
put the gun up to my head smile abit then blow it
no jokes don't do it there's another way out
shit get me out this body pull the skeleton out
so i can get to the cupboard and get your medicine now
before you have a relapse with that gun in your mouth
joker you better do this, don't be fucking stupid
your life is fucking use-less, and no one likes your music
you say that you are ruthless and now its time to prove it
don't use your head just let the bullet rip through it
don't listen to devil he's making you go mental
take the metal off your temple and do it fucking gentle
lets hide from the jeckel and find an instrumental
to settle on a level show potential with a pencil
come on jokes kill yourself its time for you to come to hell
girls up in heaven are boring they respect themselves
here you can excel with the whores and the jezebels
and torture all the pedophiles ha glad to see you smile
a conversation with myself is all i hear in both ears
I'm toying with mental health and i aint shedding no tears x2
i could fucking kill myself dead, holding no fears
put the gun up to my head smile abit then blow it
its only been lately that you've been acting crazy
you should think about your baby like shady did with Haile
just don't nothing hasty your hand is fucking shaking
theres no other way to say it from death there is no escaping
what you waiting for joker now your pissing me off
we aint got time to kill so its time to finish the job
cock back, pull the trigger squeeze and don't stop
take another sip of liquor and see if they bounce off
listen to me jokes don’t be easily provoked
you’re a wolf not a sheep so give the sheep back the clothes
give the beat back your flow, give this relapse a no
get your weed stash and roll, and try to relax the chrome
Fuck all that that beat bop shit joker deal with this prick
get a grip, 1 click this shits over with quick
and you can be the killer that I led you to be
yes my little nigger it was me that set you free
a conversation with myself is all i hear in both ears
I'm toying with mental health and i aint shedding no tears x2
i could fucking kill myself dead, holding no fears
put the gun up to my head smile abit then blow it
Well I'm back to reality, questioning my sanity
Its me my self and jokes but myself and me are fantasy
The voices i hear chat to me daily to unbalance me
They keep me fucking company but that’s a fucking tragedy
I think I need medic I’m a schizo flipping frenic
I didn’t possess a gun so how the fuck did I get it
it’s a fully loaded weapon I aint took halousanegetics
i’m starting to finally lose it In this game of mental tennis
Ahhhhgggghghhhghgh
Haha haha hahahahahhahahahah
Hahaha
Hahaha
Well mr blah blah blah haha
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8. |
WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?
03:05
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ME & THE FAMILY AINT CLOSE NO MORE WE HAVE LOST TOUCH, GOT SWALLOWED BY THE ROADS THEN IT LOST US
LEFT ME ALONE WHEN I NEEDED EM MOST AND I REALLY DIDNT KNOW WHAT IT HAD COST US
SEE ME AND MUM USED TO BE DEAD TIGHT TIL I FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS ON DRUGS
WHEN SHES COME N SEEN ME THAT NIGHT WHEN I'D BEEN STABBED UP 13 YEARS OLD LIFELESS
LYING IN A BED NOT KNOWING WHAT I'D DONE , UNCONSCOUISE BUT I STILL CRIED FOR MY MUM
WHERE ARE YOU MUM WHERE DID YOU GO, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, DONT LET ME DIE ON MY OWN, DONT LET ME DIE
DONT LET ME DIE MUM
DONT EVEN CRY COS THE TRUTH HURTS, ALL OF YOUR LIES I CAN FIX IN A FEW WORDS
MADE YOU GO BLIND MADE YOU GO DEAF IN YOUR OWN MIND IN YOUR OWN WORLD MADE YOURSELF RUTHLESS
DIDNT WANNA DO THIS, BUT HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON 2 KIDS
THAT LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW, COS YOUR NEVER GETTING BACK IN THE DOOR,
COS THEY DONT GIVE A DAM ANYMORE, DON'T ASK FOR THEIR GRAN ANYMORE, DONT GET SAD MAK'ING DAD MAD ANYMORE
DONT MAKE PLANS DONT PAINT PICTURES DONT MISS WHAT THEY NEVER HAD ANYMORE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THERES ALOT MORE ROLES THAN I PLAY THAN A DAD
I AM THE UNCLES, I AM THE AUNTIES, I AM THE FAM THAT THEY'VE NEVER HAD
I AM THE COUSINS, I AM THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES, I GIVE THEM ALL THAT I HAVE
I AM THE GRANDPARENTS AT CHRISTMAS, IM STILL SANTA CLAUSE ON THE TAGS
YOU LEFT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MOUNTAIN NOW I CLIMB THE REST ON MY OWN
YOU LEFT WHEN I ONLY TOOK A FEW STEPS NOW ANOTHER THOUSAND UP IT I GO
WITH MY BABIES UP ON MY SHOULDERS AND MY HANDS GRASPING A BOULDER
THAT I’LL PUSH UP TO THE TOP TIL ITS OVER THEN I’LL STAND BACK AND WATCH IT ROLL
ME AND MY BRO USED TO BE REAL CLOSE BUT NOW WE DON'T TALK MUCH
CANT EVER SEE US EVER TALKING AGAIN COS HE LIED TO MY SON AND MY DAUGHTER
NO PHONE CALL NO FACETIME NO UNCLE NO MESSAGE NO FUCK ALL
YOU SAID IT YOU PROMISED YOU BROKE IT COMLETELY DEMOLISHED, AND NOW YOUR FORGOTTEN
LITTLE BRO COST ME EVERYTHING I HAD THEN LEFT, WITH OUT ME HE WOULDNT HAVE THEM DECKS
WITH OUT ME HE'D BE STUCK IN THAT VILLAGE ON HIS PAPER ROUND PLAYING XBOX WITH HIS SILLY LITTLE FRIENDS
BUT NO I TOOK HIM OUT GOT US A FLAT PUSHED HIM TO MUSIC AND HE STABBED ME RIGHT IN THE BACK
COST ME 50 BAGS I HAD STACKED AND STILL NOT PAID ME BACK JACK
ME AND MY NAN HAD THE TIGHTEST BOND IN THE WORLD UNTIL SHE GOT SICK
IT KILLS ME INSIDE AS IT EATS HER ALIVE COS I STILL DONT KNOW HOW WE LOST IT
THE PERSON I HAD IN MY LIFE FOR SUPPORT THE ONE THAT STOPPED ME GETTING ADOPTED
ITS LIKE SHE FORGOT WHO I AM ANY MORE, AND I BLAME ALL THE PILLS FROM THE DOCTORS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THERES ALOT MORE ROLES THAN I PLAY THAN A DAD
I AM THE UNCLES, I AM THE AUNTIES, I AM THE FAM THAT THEY'VE NEVER HAD
I AM THE COUSINS, I AM THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES, I GIVE THEM ALL THAT I HAVE
I AM THE GRANDPARENTS AT CHRISTMAS, IM STILL SANTA CLAUSE ON THE TAGS
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9. |
NOT AVIN' THAT
04:13
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They say I'm getting to old and I'm not having that
Coming down on them cold I'm like an avalanche
Try to get me to fold but I'm no acrobat
Left my strap down the road but I could go back for that
I left my habitat my home yeah the council flats
Had look after the fam and make a couple tracks
My uncle told me I'm the man ive got love for the that
But there aint nuttin on the planet bring my uncle back
now I understand the struggle as a business man
Cos I never asked for fuck all since It all began
got smart studied for a couple exams
made my head get bigger for my mind to expand
Don’t wear chains or no fur, no dog bone
But if it ever occurred, top dog though
Dog eat dog I’ll take served in a fresh bowl
You know a mongrel can’t fuck with a pit bull
I let this energy burn, no petrol
Still got lessons to learn, potential
I still believe in this con, fidential
All my secrets are gone yeah I let go
I grew up in the pain, dead broke
Electric cut off again, went to bed cold
I put my cover on my brother so he didn’t have to suffer
Cos our mother put the drugs before our debts bro
I put my on life on these pages I keep on writing for ages
Combining rhymes in this matrix, I let you walk in my trainers
You take a step and you change em’ you’d put em back on the pavement
I’d take em back and put them back on and go right back to the pain shit
Now I'm living my life, supports gone
Had to give up my 9’s, the wars done
No more prison in sight, no more sentence to ride
No repenting to Christ, just more blunts
Got a blast from the past I was out in the town
Seen my ex on her own she was stumbling round
She tried to cuddle me I spun her around
She said baby j just fuck me lets stop fucking around
I said practice what you preach and don’t lie
It might mean you never speak but I don’t mind
I put the x in a taxi cos I'm so wise
Told her to go & catch sleep, and cut them old ties
Told her quit all her acting a dry both eyes
Its like a moment of magic they both dried
Tell her stop reminiscing, cos she didn’t miss me in prison
She wasn’t thinking when she was breeding with both guys
I put my on life on these pages I keep on writing for ages
Combining rhymes in this matrix, I let you walk in my trainers
You take a step and you change em’ you’d put em’ back on the pavement
I’d take em back and put them back on and go back to the pain shit
So here it is it my life yeah its all here
Aint got nothing to hide live with no fear
If I did it then fuck it yeah I’d admit it
And relive it and tell it exactly how I did it so clear
If I could hide from the past I'd wear a high vis
If I could erase all the scars i’d still wear em like this
If I could trade em for dreams I'd keep the night mares
I was raised by the streets and I’m staying right there
now they’re looking to me as I guide them
What I practise I preach thats my life shared
I've been the change that I wanted to see
now I'm finally someone to give an army belief
I know my haters are hating but im starting to love it
No cares what they're saying cos I'm rising above it
they’ve got keyboard courage, like a weapons a button
i’ve still got the streets covered now they aint saying nothing
I put my on life on these pages I keep on writing for ages
Combining rhymes in this matrix, I let you walk in my trainers
You take a step and you change em’ you’d put em’ back on the pavement
I’d take em back and put them back on and go back to the pain shit
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10. |
DESOLATE
02:39
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DESOLATE
Had these lyrics rushing my head so I write em down
Chilling in my living room the only time I'm sitting down
my kids are missing out cos I run a business now
daddies gotta work all time that’s why daddies not around
I know I promised dan id never be a victim of this system
But it was either that little man or daddy goes prison
That would kill him to leave you on a visit to watch you grow in pictures to leave you wit your sister without a father figure
Just to think of it I miss ya I don’t wanna be without ya
But I’m working every hour using every bit of power
Every bit of will every bit of pain everything I feel
Trying to keep it real trying to pay the bills
tryin to raise you well even if it kills yes I will I will do it
I would do it still I would go to hell to give you and Emily the world,
I would do it Dan for my little man and my little girl.
I ain’t gonna do it how my father did it I admit it I could kill him,
I was dying in that building he was chasing other women,
I was barely fucking breathing, didn’t even come to see me,
I’m supposed to be his baby fuck, I wasn’t even teething.
I was ill mama seen it, I was screaming, you had wheels but was cheating,
told my mum to leave it said she’s being stupid, I'm so glad she never listened
or he would have got his wishes, that abortion at the clinic,
but my mother never did it. So I gotta do it different,
it’s a life I’ve not considered, but to see a life delivered,
and to know its mine for ever That’s a moment I will treasure,
yeah the 15th of December, seen the birth of my successor,
now when me n him together, that’s a love u cannot measure,
I'm a dad not just a father, I’d go mad without my daughter,
or if anybody harmed her, I'm responsible for karma,
yeah I would give my life up, sign me up to be a lifer,
Ive already made my my mind up,
I’ll protect her like shes china try to always be beside her
but I'm working every hour that’s a lot of time without her.
I don’t wanna hear about her I deserve to be around her
I’m her father and I love her but a grafter & a worker.
Working hard then working harder put in work until it’s working
I aint perfect but I'm certain that I'm working cos they’re worth it
Now I'm here to serve a purpose, got my kids to teach, they’re learning
Growing quick & don’t like it cos I’m missing them be perfect
Should I become an alcoholic yet and claim I’m sick
Or turn into a jagger just to claim the benefits
I’d be clucking all the time, living my life on that script
I’d be fucking out my mind buts that’s more time with my kids
Now I'm just living in this world where I’m just living to work
but I aint getting any younger, close to leaving this earth
Nah my body clock ain’t stopping turn a second hand to profit
gonna turn my time to money then I'll leave what I earn
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11. |
BACK TO BASICS!
03:44
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I Get ready for a night out with all the lights out
Rehearsing my lyrics and taking some time out
I’m putting on my clothes with both my eyes closed
Turn off my iphone getting in my zone, tweaking up my flow
Breathing speaking reading repeating the lyrics that I wrote
Not giving them old just giving them bare just giving them jokez
To show em I care to show em I’m here , to show em I'm there
I show em my past and I keep it so clear i keep is so real
So they feel what they hear, I keep it so real so they feel that they’re here.
With me,
When you see me in the club you see me keeping it humble
Don’t ask for a table, V.I.P not fuck all
Just a glass with 2 bits of ice, n rum on the double
I'm still me on a level no I'm not above you
I just came through the struggle on top
made my aim my number one goal
Pay my wage and be my own boss
And don't let no one tell me I won’t
swapped a road life for a microphone
Studio time, to put the right words
Cos if I back tracked and breached my parole
I would have grabbed a strap and died first
Cos the judge told me that I’d get life
when he see’s me back in there next time
And you best believe it yeah I believed him
Cos the guy before me got 25
i’ve never seen death in something alive
Went grey looked dead in his eyes
3 strikes he’s out In a case where nobody died
But by the look of this guy nobody survived
Over 2 million bars in my pad and I’m ready to drop them
I changed my circle I don’t go around dodgems
Had to go away for a few years, and i got forgotten
Now im MCF with a #bestinscotland
Never been more determined or focused
Still on course to walk on my own
Had to turn my back on that joker
But now they get to know jokez
I’m the Patient, doctor, voice of the people
And they call me the crazy creative
Used to hate it, but now i’m proud of the label
cos without it I’m not be able to make this
Made changes, switched lanes quick
My situation was dangerous
I'm talking places where strangers
Would stab you up for your trainers
Courageous, hungry teenagers
our nature Uneducated
So dedicated to make it
but Its all wasted with hatred
so I had to leave prison and get a fresh start
leave the metal ones for the written bars
Get my head straight and get off the meds
Cos my lungs are healed and I've got the heart
I could be an inspiration or incarcerated
I could be locked away again or be creative
I could give motivation through my mistakes
so I set the way with the dream I'm chasing
Quit, me, nah not ever
im deep & I'm feeling the pressure
Been off the meds for over 5 years
And trust ive never been better
Head so clear with no interference
Now I hear the beat and ignite the lyrics
I can close my eyes I can see the image
And I can paint my dream and they can see it finished
cos now my past was worth every minute
Yeah all my scars and yeah all the prisons
Wouldn’t change it or do it different
like body art that shapes my appearance
the pain and permanent pictures
from my face all down to my fingers
So I'll always know where I came from
Cos it’s the man that I see in my mirrors
Over 2 million bars in my pad and I’m ready to drop them
I changed my circle I don’t go around dodgems
Had to go away for a few years, and i got forgotten
Now im MCF with a #bestinscotland
I've got butterflies and I'm nervous
I can hear them calling my name
Start to doubt i’ve got my bars perfect
That mad feeling walking on stage
Then I start to spit and get settled in
Like ive sparked a spliff with adrenaline
My hearts pumped, I'm remembering
Everything every bar cos its genuine
it’s all me, just me and myself & jokez
I just breath, n exhale the smoke
n don't choke as it leaves my throat
i go in, don't stop till I leave the show & im sat at home
Curled up with my jacket on
My air max still tied, go sleep and I dream beyond
I Go deep til theres no response
i go deep in the dream and find me where I belong
And it won’t be long till I wake up
plug my iPhone into its charger
Put my pen back on to that paper
And chase that dream a little bit harder
Cos I came through the struggle on top
made my aim my number one goal
Pay my wage and be my own boss
now Its on me, myself, your boy jokez
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12. |
THE LAST DROP
03:27
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o no one made that way for me, so no one to thank for making gs
So still say I hate the police and roll right past them blazing weed
Only hate on them cos they hate on me cos they took my crop but I still stayed free
No locks for them to turn keep them keys, thats a lot for them to burn, 50 gs
I don’t agree wit the system, I agree wit the streets I open my ears and I listen
Find me a beat and give them a voice with every track I release
Give wisdom, cos when they’re down I don’t kick them I just put my hands out to pick up, I’m that friendly neighbourhood nigga
Building bridges, giving hope back to the hopeless, putting a coat on the back of the homeless, just a random act of some kindness
Instant karma, when the past comes back to harm us, bites you on the arse harder, and goes right to the bone like piranhas
So I live different, don’t receive before I start giving, don’t believe in can’t I don’t give up, I ate all the charms got shit luck
But I’m breathing, I still see my death when I’m sleeping, which gives everyday a new reason, to keep focused and keep believing.
Inspiration, I just give it out without thinking, I just speak the words and they listen, leave them choices
And decisions
Dedication, is all you're ever gonna get from me, that’s why the fam got respect for me, aint signing no deal I'd never leave
So no one made that way for me, so no one to thank for making gs
So still say I hate the police and roll right past them blazing weed
Only hate on them cos they hate on me cos they took my crop but I still stayed free
No locks for them to turn keep them keys, thats a lot for them to burn, 50 gs
X2
I don’t agree wit the law, they don’t protect our streets anymore, last week they put shek in the morgue, from father to corps they show no remorse
Cold hearted, yeah I used to be when I started man would back the beef, create carnage, man go Japanese and start carving.
I made changes, filled the book with new pages, no longer see me filling that chamber, no more sticking up no more strangers
No more living dangerous, ok I live on the edge I'm lying, I'm just waiting for death cos I'm dying, I'm not taking breaths when I’m rhyming
So I give guidance, with everything that I’m writing, I'm just trying to break that silence, I'm that shoulder when you start crying
Not into violence, but don’t make weakness out of my kindness, dont take me for some kinda minor cos I’ll fuck you up if you try this,
Keeping it humble, I still help the people that struggle, stay myself and true to my hustle, still don’t ask this world for fuck all
Just the air that I breath, yeah the weed that I smoke, health for my kids, leave the rest up to jokez
So no one made that way for me, so no one to thank for making gs
So still say I hate the police and roll right past them blazing weed
Only hate on them cos they hate on me cos they took my crop but I still stayed free
No locks for them to turn keep them keys, thats a lot for them to burn, 50 gs
X2
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13. |
7 YEARS OUTro
03:35
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7 years, 7 years, 7 years, 7 years,
7 years, 7 years, 7 years, 7 years,
7 years, 7 years, 7 years, 7 years,
7 years, 7 years, 7 years, 7 years,
I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years, I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years,
I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years, I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years,
I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years, I cant believe I’ve been out 7 years,
I cant believe I’ve been out 7
My journey started in that holding cell, underneath that court
Now I'm out here making music for the whole world & arranging a tour
shit, all my hard work has turned my life around to this
I keep looking around cos I'm so proud of all of it
Not got my head down, not having no doubts, not bored of here
I just look at the crowd and give them the sound they wanna hear
Ive got no one to thank I changed my life on my own
Now that’s kinda ironic cos now I don’t ever get time alone
I helped my body to find my soul, the one I left a long time ago
Cos where this bodies about to go, gotta give it my heart, give it my soul give it my soul x3
And I’m not scared yeah I just said it I'm not scared
Changed up my mind when I got there
Starting reading and writing and got here
Stopped stabbing & and fighting and counting the time
Stopped thinking of what I was missing outside
3 & a half, took a grip of my life, took a grip of my life and I got out on time
I got my parole I got back on road, a ticket to Scotland a bag for my clothes
I didn’t have have money I only had goals, that’s kinda funny cos now ive got both
But don’t get it twisted, didn’t make it by being gifted
Took me 6 months but I found a job that I liked but I didn’t like still being part of the system
Franky gave me a job, and I thank him for his assistance
Taught me how to be a boss and how to operate things when it comes down to my own business.
Then I applied to do music, I give my thanks to Bisset
I turned up with no exams, in my hand just the life I have had, And he listened,
Then I committed to music, it has set me free
lady leesh said I need to follow my dreams, and I believed.
Now when I holla at everyone, everyone holla’s right back
Now it befits anyone to hear my mind on a track
You can relate my story to anything if you just understand
You can be under dog but you can turn that to upper hand
I phoned up my ex girl when I got out of jail
I could tell by her voice that she was surprised as hell
I just wanted to say hi, I hope that shes fine and doing well
But she’d been married twice, kids wit 2 guys, and still herself
Now I'm working with boydy & toni , making these videos
Chillin with jazzy, making, beats in our studio
Wear my own clothes, choose where I go, I drive to shows
There’s people I know every where that I go, no jokes
I'm glad its alls done while I'm still young, not going bald
Now ive got kids flesh and my blood, to show the rules
Cos that’s on me to make sure they don’t take the path I chose
And now Im thanking everyone that had a laugh at at jokez….
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